Its Not the End of the World, Right?

Okay, well, I'm going to talk about the sex issue. Obviously, I would like to be a lady and portray myself as a well balanced personality for whom sex is just one aspect of the relationship and of my life. A little disappointed that things aren't going the way I would prefer, but taking a sensible, rational approach to something that, while kind of a pity, is not the end of the world.

After all, its not really a tragedy, right? There has just been another tsunami in Indonesia, and a lot of people are dead. A lot of people are homeless. A lot of people are wondering if they and their children are going to survive.

So what I should have is a sense of proportion about my sex life. And I often manage to do so. But right now I can't. I am, at the moment, obsessed with sex. And why? Because I'm not getting any.

That's the thing about sex. When you are getting as much as you want, or more than you want, you don't think about it very much. It seems like a silly thing to get so worked up about. But when you're not getting any, for weeks and months at a time, you feel very differently. Well, I do, anyway.

And at the moment, I'm like a she-wolf wolf in the depths of winter. A she-wolf that hasn't eaten in a long time. Who has just seen a potential meal vanish at the very moment that she reaches out and almost touches it with the tip of her snout. Not inclined to be rational and positive about things. More inclined to let out a howl of pain and anguish and then curl up and whimper for a bit.

This is me, whimpering.

So what has sent me into this pathetic state (ie approach 3 instead of approach 1)? My man and I booked a night of passion last night, and he was too sick to go ahead with it. Yes, poor me.

And poor him, of course, but this is MY blog.

And not only that. In the past few months, we have actually made some progress. I have had a better attitude. He has had a better attitude. We have planned sexy, intimate time together and actually followed through on it on a semi-regular basis. We have been having more sex than we've had in years. We have also been having better communication and more intimacy than we have in years.

But with a slump in his health, he just doesn't seem to have the energy for this stuff. Meanwhile, my expectations have been raised, I am no longer quite so used to starvation, and I can hardly bear to see our oh so tortuously built progress receding into the distance. Who knows if we will ever re-create it again?

The is the way the world ends/This is the way the world ends/Not with a bang but a whimper.