Another Quickie

Pat has finally booked her plane ticket home. Oh, the relief!

It's not that I don't love her. And she has actually been a pretty good house guest - picking up after herself most of the time (which is a big effort for her, because her own place is always cluttered), helping with the dishes and the cooking and the laundry. And although she's depressed, she is very much in survival mode and preoccupied with practical things, rather than the weepy mess I thought she might be.

But, to be honest, I am so over this. I'm exhausted. Work hasn't let up, the Big Dude is stressed out and sick (his shrink is not impressed by our current household situation), and having to be friendly and polite and supportive all the time instead of just slumping into the sofa at night is wearing me out. People keep telling me I look tired and I am.

To top it off, I am trying to lose weight and bring my coffee and alcohol consumption down, preferably to nil, before our fertility treatment. With the caffeine headaches and the end of my regular Friday night takeaway and wine catharsis, I feel crap. Also, we are broke, following Christmas and supporting house guests and then preparing for huge IVF bills. We had a fright this week with the stockmarket crash, as it looked like our IVF fund was about to melt into the ether.

I think, to be realistic, I am going to have to postpone the IVF to March. I'm just too tired and stressed out to embark on fertility treatment the moment I get back from overseas. Not to mention that it would be good to have some time alone with the Big Dude before going into all that. Have I mentioned that we haven't had sex since November?

But the other day, Pat finally came home with a plane ticket, booked for the first week of February. And yesterday, I drooled over the descriptions of the place I will be staying at during my work trip. A lovely hotel with a huge pool, beautiful white beaches and the emerald-green sea across the road, nice restaurants...although I will be working, surely there will be a few moments to enjoy my trip to a tropical island!