Monday, March 30, 2009

Bored

I had a great time last week. I had to go to another beautiful tropical island for an international meeting for work. All the preparation was hard work but, once we got there, we all raced through the agenda so we could spend more time at the beach. After the business part was over, we swam, we snorkeled, we talked and laughed. We tried different kinds of wine and beer. I had my first ever try at karaoke and several encores were demanded. I could get used to that kind of flattery and attention.

The only problem was that it highlighted the fact that I don't usually have that much fun or excitement or new experiences. Since I came home, I have had to admit something to myself - I'm bored. I'm bored with my life.

With my Big Dude sick most of the time, with no car, and with the Little Dude to watch, we hardly ever go out. We spend almost every evening of our lives just staying home and watching TV. It's cosy. It's comfortable. But sometimes I can feel my life just going by while we sit in front of the TV.

It's particularly bad at the moment. The Big Dude is in a bad slump and he doesn't want to do anything and he hardly speaks. When he does speak, it's mostly some kind of complaint. There is a kind of flatness in the room that depresses me. He hardly seems to notice that I'm there.

Actually, I'm even kind of bored with the fact that we have no sex life. I'm bored by the lack of desire, passion, romance and sex. I'm also bored with discussing it and with attempts to try to improve things.

The Big Dude and I are both intelligent, articulate, interesting people with plenty to say and lots of interests. So why do I feel like I am being bored out of my mind?

2 Comments:

Blogger Sailor said...

I hate that, when you get in the cycle of dull. Hugs, hope it gets better for you soon.

7:33 PM  
Blogger Tajalude said...

I have 100% empathy. I feel exactly the same way right now. If you find the solution, pass it along. Please. And thank you.

3:16 PM  

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