IVF 3: Disaster

Today, I had my first ultrasound and blood test for this IVF cycle.

I have been feeling quite optimistic. Having gotten generally fitter and healthier, done the laparoscopy in April and on a nice high dose of the drugs, surely the prospects for this cycle are the best they've ever been. I have been almost looking forward to my ultrasound this morning.

But this morning, after rummaging around for ages, the technician could detect virtually no response at all. My early results are never great, but this is the worst yet. I managed to hold it together while in the clinic, but couldn't help the tears in my eyes, which I tried to disguise.

Then I went to the local shopping centre and tried to cheer myself up. I tried on (and lay-byed)some new clothes. I bought myself a nice lunch and included a semi-forbidden glass of red wine. I even filled up a shopping trolley with groceries for a local charity, which was asking for donations for poor families who would struggle to get through winter. This usually provides not only a nice warm inner glow but a good sense of perspective on who really has problems in this world.

But nothing takes this feeling away. Nothing.