Happy Thoughts

I am thinking happy thoughts about all the good things that happened on our holiday:

• We got to stay at a beautiful lake house on a lovely, lazy holiday for free - I spent a lot of time looking out on that peaceful lake and just chilling out

• We were finally able to spend some good time with the friend whose family owns that house. We were holidaying with this friend two years ago when I found out that my first IVF cycle had been successful. Then she got pregnant just after me, but we missed all the excitement of her baby Jack's arrival because she went to live overseas.

• My Little Dude can be quite ambivalent about other kids. He enjoys watching other children but doesn't really like to play with them, yet. But he and young Jack seemed to hit it off immediately. Jack is a most beautiful child - the product of his unusually pale, blonde mother and his black-haired Asian father, he is a golden-skinned, delicate-featured little boy with huge, dark, mischievous eyes. The two little boys, one so fair-skinned and the other so golden, spent all their time laughing and playing and getting into mischief - climbing on the furniture, trying to re-program the DVD player, digging into the rubbish bin, etc. Despite the nuisance factor of trying to protect them from themselves, they were utterly delightful to watch.

• I drank quite a lot of delicious wine from the wineries. Obviously, I can always drink wine at home, but it is quite a different experience to drink it while eating a wonderful lunch at the winery itself, feeling the soil it comes from beneath your toes. The last time I was there, I had just finished an unsuccessful fertility cycle. This time, I could sip my wine while watching my boy capering around and chasing lizards.

• We visited a cheese factory in a region famous for its cheeses. It was truly a taste sensation. It immediately became quite clear that I had never really tasted cheese before. What I have been eating all my life is apparently cardboard masquerading as cheese. I will not be making that mistake again!

• We had several visits with John and Sophie from my intentional community, including leisurely catch-ups while our kids were sleeping and a final, lovely dinner where we celebrated them becoming our Little Dude's godparents. Our lives have changed so much since we were all young, single students, but our relationship is stronger than ever.

• I swam in the ocean baths. I have always loved the beach and the ocean, but my pleasure in swimming in the sea is a bit undermined by my paranoia about sharks. So the fact that there is a safe area where I can enjoy my swim out in the sun and fresh air, looking up at the blue, blue sky, well, whoever had that idea deserves my gratitude. And my Little Dude enjoyed his first real visit to the beach, too, although he was more interested in stuffing his little mouth with seashells than in swimming.

• While I was there, one of my oldest friends rang to let me know she is pregnant. She has been trying for a long time and lost a pregnancy in its very early stages this year. I really feared for her, that she would miss out on having a baby. I knew she would find that prospect devastating. But now she is pregnant again. And I am so, so happy for her.

And now my Little Dude is moving on to his next big thing: talking. He has been saying mum-mum and dad-dad for months, but nothing else except for the continual chatter they call jargoning - when they chat away in a very conversational tone but it sounds as though they are speaking a foreign language.

But the Little Dude is finally learning to speak English. A few weeks ago, he waved and suddenly said "bye-bye" when his grandmother was leaving after a visit. And on Christmas morning, when I was blowing bubbles at him (one of his favourite games), he said "bubble" very distinctly. And he has repeated these incredible feats several times since.

Obviously, I am just joking about the incredible feats. But there is something so fascinating in watching a baby become a child. It should be ordinary, it shouldn't be so exciting, but for some reason it is like watching a living, breathing miracle. And to have the opportunity to love that child, to help him grow and develop, to give him the very best I can give, well, that is a joy beyond words.