Thursday, November 23, 2006

A Slow Groove on My Mind

My go slow continues to be a run-away success. Last night, the Big Dude put away most of the shopping I'd had delivered (he usually leaves that to me to do and, last week, he even left some of the frozen stuff out to melt) and cleaned up the kitchen before he went to bed!

This morning, instead of tidying up the loungeroom myself, I suggested we do it together. When I looked up, he'd practically finished it alone.

I have deliberately not been very fulsome in my thanks in the last few days. I have been thanking him, but I haven't been making a big deal of it, because I think that would reinforce the idea that these things are actually my job and what he is doing is unusual and temporary. But when I said last night that I had noticed and appreciated what he'd done, he said something that I quietly found pretty funny:

"It needed to be done."

Ah, yes, my view exactly!

What is this strange magic?

The wierd part is that we haven't discussed any of it. And although there was a little chill in the air for a few hours after the yelling incident, I haven't been at all angry with him. In fact, we have really been getting on particularly well for the last few days.

He seems to be feeling a little better, probably because he is getting more sleep from the early nights and going out in the mornings. He is doing more around the house. And he seems more pleased to see me when I come home from work. We just seem to be interracting in a different way, without my needing to say anything at all.

And it is having a subtle effect on me, too. With a little less rushing, I seem to be calming down. I seem to be feeling more confident, more centred and taking more pleasure in my day.

Yesterday, instead of leaving at the last possible moment, throwing my clothes on and racing for the bus (sometimes I'm still buttoning my clothes as I run), I stood in front of my wardrobe and took some real pleasure in picking something pretty to wear and making myself look nice. I strolled to the bus stop at an easy pace, enjoying the morning.

And it was like that all day. Instead of running around like a hen without a head, I was holding myself differently - straighter, more relaxed. I felt like I was breathing more deeply. I felt good.

And when I wanted a few minutes in the middle of my working day to gather my thoughts, I took that time. I made myself a coffee, sat staring into space for a bit, and had a more than usually productive afternoon as a result.

Time. It has been ruling my life - the ticking of the clock. Trying to cram in as many things as a person can conceivably do in any given minute. It's not right.

I don't just want to be on a go slow in my relationship - I want to seriously slow down my life and even to slow down my mind. I am very interested in this Slow Movement site.

And I have been humming an old Pointer Sisters song under my breath:

I'm tired of fast moves
I've got a slow groove
On my mind...


Anonymous Therese In heaven said...

Sometimes just a few tiny changes or bits of effort make all the difference. Glad things seem to be getting better for you guys.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

Happy happy happy for you Emily !!!

Sometimes we enforce that rushed approach to life, on ourselves. Must do this, must do that, must excel, must be there for everyone. We spin and spin and spin and sometimes just end up doing it all, and none of it that well.

I'm glad it's working out so well for all of you hon.

5:32 PM  

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