Beans in a Jar

I've just been reading a post over at one of my favourite blogs. It's about the old beans in a jar theory: how when you meet someone and fall in love, you could go out and get yourself a jar and a packet of beans and, every time you have sex, put a bean in the jar. The jar will be nearly full very early on. Then get married or commit. Every time you have sex, take a bean out of the jar. You will never empty it.

So true.

And some of it is probably over-confidence. On Friday night, the Big Dude and I had a sex date. Then, through a series of unforeseeable events, we ended up having friends over for dinner that night, so we deferred to the following night. Then the next night, he wasn't well, so we deferred again. Then again. Now, of course, nothing has happened at all.

And I am annoyed at myself because, just after the dinner was over and our friends had left, my Big Dude said, assuming I was tired, "I suppose we're off for tonight?" and I said yes.

I am an idiot. I should have jumped him while I had the chance. For all I know, the next time is now weeks or months away.

Because despite having been to work, looked after a toddler, cleaned up for visitors, made a meal for six and spent the evening with friends, I really wasn't that tired. I'm never too tired to have sex.

And this is what made me laugh about that post: the reasons why the women don't want to have sex and the male thinking in response. Tertia thinks it's men who think like the words in italics but, in our case, it's me!

We are tired (They are too, they still want to shag!)

We don’t feel as great about ourselves as we used to (They don’t care! They STILL want to shag, even if we are a little broader / softer / greyer! They still want us, thank goodness.)

It’s the kids (They have kids too, but they still want to shag)

We get irritated with them for not doing enough housework / not being attentive enough / breathing (They get irritated with us too, but they still want to shag!)

They are not as romantic as they used to be (They will do romance if it will means more shagging! Will it mean more shagging??)

There isn’t enough time (They will make time! Have you got five minutes?)

We are angry with them (Well then! Let’s shag to make up!)

If you'd like to know what at least some of the women who can't be bothered to have more sex with their husbands are thinking, have a look here.