Friday, April 13, 2007

Interview Me

Many of you will have seen the Interview Me meme replicating itself around Blogland, and the lovely Trueself came up with some great interview questions for me.

1 - How has having the Little Dude compared to your expectations of motherhood?

Motherhood is both a lot harder and also more fun than I thought it would be. The level of extra housework that a toddler generates has been an unpleasant surprise – after all, they are so darn small that it seems impossible!

But I underestimated how delightful my Little Dude would be. I didn’t really picture how he would laugh and be curious about everything and his sweet, affectionate nature. He is so much more of a personality than I would have predicted. I didn’t realize how having a child to play with would bring out my silly, fun side and how liberating that would be. I also didn’t realize how much positivity and meaning it would bring to my relationship and how it would bring out the best in my Big Dude.

2 - What advice would you give to a young woman starting a relationship with a man 20-30 years older than her?

It’s not for the faint of heart – but then, neither is any committed relationship. She may find that the differences between her and her man are not primarily about age at all. Mostly, I would say, enjoy it. Don’t allow worry about the future to rob her of the joy she is experiencing now. I worried too much in our early years and it didn’t do me a scrap of good.

3 - What is the greatest sacrifice you've made in your life and what made it worth making?

I think the ongoing sacrifice of some of my deepest wishes and longings about my sex life with the Big Dude has been the greatest sacrifice so far. I had a lot of hopes and I tried hard, but with only limited success. It is the one really great grief of my life so far – the loss of that passionate, physical side of love. Sometimes it hurts very much. What has made it worthwhile is that love remains. I know my Big Dude loves me. I know he thinks I am beautiful. I know he is trying, and that will have to be enough.

4 - What qualities would a blog generally have to attract you and make you a regular reader?

I am mostly interested in relationship blogs. I find myself pulled in by deep emotion, perhaps around a few core issues, honesty and willingness to look deeply and self-reflect. I find blogs where people have given up on their partners depressing. To keep me reading, the blogger also needs to show a little respect to their partner and the people around them. The ones who have flat-out contempt for their partners usually lose me fairly quickly. A sense of humour is vital!

5 - If you had the power to change one, and only one, law what change would you make?

In Australia, we have a law about mandatory detention of migrants who just turn up and don’t apply for a visa. Many of those who are detained are refugees or just people who are running away from terrible situations and Australia locks them up, sometimes for years.

Until recently, even children were locked up in these places. A few years ago, I got to know a little girl who had been in detention. We took her to the beach with us and she was such a lively, laughing little girl, shouting with excitement because she had never seen the sea before and running so bravely towards the waves. But I knew that she had seen terrible things - mental illness, despair, self-harm and suicide. It makes me physically sick to think of children in such places. I know there is no absolutely right answer to the issues of refugees and people smuggling. But this law, I think, simply must be changed because it does so much harm out of all proportion to the problem.

In accordance with the rules, you can leave me a comment saying, "Interview me" and I will respond by asking you five personal questions. You can answer these questions on your own blog or in the comments section of mine. You should include an offer to interview someone else and ask them five questions.


Blogger oldbear said...

SWEETheart, I LOVE you.

your compassion for that poor little girl, your dogged adherence to the BD, and your refusal to give up on being the full woman you might be make you soooo special!!

Keep being kind and caring!! PAX to you and teh dudes, and big hug to mommy!!

8:38 PM  
Blogger Cat said...

I have to agree with oldbear, you are wonderful :)

8:04 PM  

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