Blogaversary

Well, a day or two ago, it was my Blogaversary - yes, it's 12 months since I started this blog!

And this is making me think about my life, then and now.

When I started this blog, I said I wanted to work through three main issues: our sex life, my job and my feelings about being a mother. All of these things seem to have improved.

After a long period in the doldrums, our sex life is probably the best it's been in years. It's not so much the quantity that has improved, as the quality. My Big Dude seems to take a lot more notice of how we are going, I don't feel like I have to "remind" him so much, and he seems to enjoy what we do more. While its far from perfect, I feel a sense of ease in my mind about it.

The job aspect is not really resolved. The job I was interested in hasn't been advertised yet and I still have reservations about changing a job that suits our family life so well. But while I am still expecting to move on, I am also feeling more positive about my job as supporting our family life rather than being at the centre of my identity.

But, oh, so much has changed with my being a mother. Quite honestly, I am surprised when people complain about toddlers. My Little Dude is such a lovely boy. He chats, he laughs (is there any sound more joyful than the laugh of a toddler?) he exclaims, he runs everywhere, he climbs everything and just looking at him makes me glad to be alive. This morning at playgroup, he was playing with about five trucks simultaneously in the sandpit and was just beside himself with excitement. If he was any more beautiful, I wouldn't be able to stand it.

Other niggly problems are also improving. I am about 7 kgs lighter (about 15 pounds for American readers) and quite a bit wealthier through improved financial habits and debt repayment (thanks to all those who gave great tips!).

If you had told me a year ago that I would be actively involved in a church and cooking for a charity, I wouldn't have believed you. I wouldn't have thought that I could get past my feelings about churches, God and the rest. But sometimes it's not a matter of getting past things - sometimes it's just a matter of working with them.

In fact, the one thing that makes me just a little bit sad is that I think the quality of this blog has deteriorated. Now that the Little Dude hardly sleeps in the day, I don't have much time to write often and, when I do, it's all rushed and kind of gabbling. Also, I think the blogs of people who are pouring out their unhappiness, their conflicts and their compulsions are just inherently more interesting. But since my actual real life has improved, I guess I will just have to live with a less interesting blog!

But I would like to thank you all for reading, and for such warm, generous and supportive comments. I feel like I have made some real friends here, and I am grateful.