IVF 5: ICSI

As usual, my IVF cycle didn't go well. I knew my specialist thought I wasn't a good prospect, and this was confirmed when I saw the recommendations for a massive dose of stimulation drugs followed by ICSI - injecting the sperm into the egg. They were really bringing out the big guns, now!

I started the cycle with four good-looking follicles close together in size and a number of smaller ones. It looked surprisingly promising. But over the space of a sad, humiliating week, three shrivelled up and I was left with only one viable-looking follicle and some much smaller ones unlikely to catch up.

The recommendation was to cancel the cycle as, in most cases, one follicle barely justifies the process.

But I felt that, if I failed to even complete three cycles in a row, let alone get pregnant, it would be hard to justify any future attempts. If I cancelled this cycle, I was unlikely to try again. It would be all over.

With the way my cycles have gone, there was no guarantee that my cycles are going to get any better. It's far more likely that they will get worse, that I am just running out of eggs and it's now or never. So, I heard the advice and decided to go ahead anyway. My specialist said there was a 90 per cent chance there was one egg in that follicle, about a 70 per cent chance of fertilisation, and about a 50 per cent chance of actually getting an embryo to transfer. Even if I don't get pregnant, and just get the one egg, just hearing about the egg quality will give me some idea as to whether we ought to just quit or whether there is still a chance.

Pickup this morning was fine - I was half-expecting no egg from that one follicle, but we do have that one egg. ICSI commences in the next hour.

Now, I am just waiting to hear.