Blogging is Good

Another reason why blogging is good: sometimes you get the feeling you are not the only one in the world with your problem, with your darkest and most horrible thoughts, and just knowing that helps at least a little bit.

From a blog called Life, Death and Love I have been reading:

I've lived long enough for people close to me to die, and they've died too soon, too young, too late and too lonely. I've lived long enough to see unimaginable abuse, to know people's most secret failures, and see people's most dreaded of fears come to pass. I've seen rejection, handicaps, natural disaster and unnatural annihilation.

In it all I believed in the integrity and love of God but many times at the expense of my own integrity: I denied much of what was rolling and raging in me because I believed. I truly wanted to believe the problem of evil was all a matter of perspective, the glass is half full. But it was a thin blanket against a bitter cold because smiling at and affirming the fullness does not do away with the emptiness, there is still the place where there is absence. Nor is it the "half full" that is the true issue really, it is the fact of any emptiness at all in the face of a God who seems to promise fullness or at least has the power to deliver it but sometimes does and sometimes does not.

I sometimes think it would be easier if he consistently did nothing. There would be a certain comfort to be had in even that hopeless predictability, but I've seen God both show up and stand people up without so much as a clue why.

So true.

Apparently, this was a long time ago for this guy. Now, he seems pretty happy and fulfilled, his faith largely restored to him and motivating him to help others. So maybe there is hope for me yet.

Maybe I just have to hang on.