New Phase

Quite a few good things happened this week.

I started my new job. So far, it's okay. It's hard to tell if it's going to be really "me". My expertise in the past has been about social/domestic policy. This is more international and closely linked to foreign policy and security issues. I felt very confident and relaxed in my old role and it feels quite disorienting to be in an area where I hardly know anyone and I don't know who to call when issues come up. But it's kind of stimulating at the same time. I think it was the right decision - at least for now.

Then, we had a few days of uncertainty about whether the loan for our fertility treatment would come through. I had been so focused on whether we were emotionally ready for a second baby or not that I was shocked to discover that I had almost forgotten about the money side of it. For a moment there, things looked bad, and I had to face the possibility that the whole thing might come unstuck purely on financial grounds. You wouldn't believe how much it costs, not to have the actual baby, but even to try for one. But yesterday, the loan was approved. On the same day, we received a large cheque in the mail. Suddenly, we went from complete uncertainty to rolling in cash. It felt like the planets were aligning to make this happen.

It has struck me today that this is starting to feel like the start of a whole new phase. We seem to be finally past some of the relationship and sexual problems we've had for years. I have at least partially resolved some spiritual and other issues I've had since my late teens. I am virtually changing careers after around a decade in the same or related field. We finally have a nice house to live in. We have one beautiful and much loved child and a real chance of having another.

I am happy. But more than that, life keeps moving on and I am rolling with it. A whole new phase of our lives is coming - bring it on!