Sunday, September 23, 2007

Hooray for Me III

Well, the decision is made. I have taken that first job I applied for.

Even this morning, I had major doubts. Suddenly, my current job looked very desirable, very safe and secure, and I wondered if I was crazy to be putting it at risk.

But my meeting with them this morning was very positive. Not only were they offering me truly interesting work at reasonable hours, but there was one aspect of it that was especially suited to my skills. Where previously I wondered why they were so interested in a part-timer with only limited background in their area, I could now see why they were so keen. And I feel like I could really make a contribution there.

When I sat down at lunch to ponder it all, I couldn't help noticing that I suddenly had a sense of my career, even my life, opening up again. Lately, I have been feeling kind of stuck, in a rut, as if the possibilities are closing down and my life is just going to be the same, day after day. It's as if I have been walking through a hallway that keeps getting narrower and narrower and have just spotted a small door that opens out into the big wide world. It's scary, but its exciting!

I could really get used to that feeling. I got up and sent an email to my current boss before I lost my nerve!

He wrote me a very generous note back, congratulating me on a great opportunity and with only a fleeting reference to the problem it creates for him. So it looks as if this is really happening. Please, God, don't let this be a disaster!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hooray for Me II

Guess what?

You may remember that, when I applied for the job below, I also did a quick edit of the application and applied for a second job I saw that morning.

Well, I received an email today offering me the second job. Two offers in three days! A 100 per cent strike rate!

I have a genuine dilemma now, which I was secretly hoping not to have because of my tendency to agonise. But I am feeling quite perky to be in so much demand.

I have been assuming that no one really wants a part-time executive and it would be too hard to move away from my current position, which is boring the pants off me. But apparently, I was wrong!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hooray for Me!

I received an unexpected call today.

As you know, I recently applied for two potential new jobs, including one with a former boss of mine who I like very much and would be happy to work for again. But since more than a month had passed since then, and I'd heard nothing, I was unsure if the vacancy was even going ahead. It is not unusual in the public service for these processes to take months and even to be cancelled altogether.

On the weekend, I heard from a friend that it was going ahead but also that they had been inundated with applicants. As the job was not formally open for a part-timer, I mentally placed myself well down their list of desirable applicants.

But today, I received a call offering me the job and at the same hours I do now!

I will be meeting with the woman in charge on Monday to clarify a few questions and doubts I have about this offer. But it's certainly a boost to be wanted - hooray for me!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Birthday Thoughts

My Little Dude turns two years old tomorrow.

Tonight, when I put him to bed, there was none of his usual protest and demand for distraction from the hideous reality of bedtime. He put his little cars into his cot himself and, when I said, for the final time, "Goodnight, my little one year old boy, I love you", he said "Night-night!" in a surprisingly calm and business-like way and looked set to roll straight over and go to sleep. There was just something so mature about it.

He is growing up, my Little Dude. Having hardly thought about his birthday today, I am now sitting here with tears pricking behind my eyes, remembering the night he was born and thinking about how lucky I am.

By coincidence, a dear friend of mine is due to have her baby any moment. Some of you may remember that we offered to have her stay at our place to have the baby. We planned the whole thing, but she ultimately decided to have the baby in her own home town with the support of her family. We have stayed in touch through the pregnancy, she was due some days ago, and now when I call, I am only getting her answering machine. Tonight may just be the night!

I am thinking of her very much. To give birth to a child is a privilege, yes, but also such a lonely and arduous task. Superficially, it seems like there is so much support - the hospital, the partner, etc - but at the same time, you are ultimately alone in it, with only your strength and your courage to sustain you. Tonight, I really, really wish that I was with her.

But back to the Little Dude - I think I will always think of this year as the Year of Trucks. At Christmas, I bought him his first ever truck and he just fell in love with it. He exclaimed, he laughed, he exulted as if he simply couldn't believe there could be such a fascinating object in this world, and since then, he has been obsessed with buses, cars, anything with wheels, but especially trucks.

It has also been the Year of Talking. My Little Dude is a bright little presence, but not especially advanced with his talking. I must admit to having had my moments of counting up the words he's said and comparing them with other kids I know. But lately, he had made a lot of progress. Almost every day, he has new words. I would have thought that a child would use words to communicate things he wants (eg, "milk" or "biscuit"), but there is something really sweet about the way he just uses them to share his enthusiasms ("Blue car!" "Big truck!") or even to name what we are doing and seem to think is important ("Coffee!")

But it has also been the Year of Fun. A baby is very beautiful, but they don't really do very much. My Little Dude as a toddler is such a clever, funny little person. In the mornings, lately, he pounds on my bedroom door until I let him in, hops into bed with me, then puts his head on the pillow and pulls up the quilt and pretends to snore. He sounds exactly like the Big Dude, who could snore for Australia, and is clearly imitating him. His other favourite activity lately is putting his feet into my shoes and clumping all around the house- often naked except for the huge shoes and sometimes a big cloth shopping bag over his head!

I was at a kid's birthday party the other day and a woman from our original childbirth class, a woman much more high-powered on the career front than me, asked if the Little Dude was in childcare yet. She added, with a slightly withering expression, "Or do you think he's not ready yet?" It was pretty clear that she thought I was soft and indulgent and not fully taking account of the excellent social and other skills kids learn in childcare.

Actually, it's me who's not ready yet. Career, be damned! This kid is so much fun, and there is so much joy to be had just from being with him. I am far too selfish to hand him over to someone else to enjoy!

Friday, September 07, 2007

Training Day (Week)

I have to go on a week's executive training for my job. All day today, I was looking forward to it - all that time away from everyday work problems and a chance to think about my (ahem) career.

But just getting out of the office today seemed to take forever. I was more than two hours late and my poor Big Dude had our Little Dude almost all day and looked knackered when I got home. How will he cope for all that time? And I feel faint just thinking about all the laundry piling up...

I swear, I just don't know how mothers that work full time do it. They must have nerves of steel.

Note to self: Show great respect to all working mothers and ask them how they do it.